On the back porch we all live on when we're not where we are, with the Fall leaves blowing away and CNN spouting off in the distance, my neighbor - John Q. Public - once again made an attempt at conversation:

(Q) Man, Arabs are crazy!

(J) Why do you say that? Most Arabs I've ever met are sane, rational people.

(Q) Are you kidding? Didn't you see all those Arabs protesting on TV in Pakistan and Indonesia?

(J) Those aren't Arabs, Q. Don't confuse Arabs with Muslims - they're not always the same thing.

(Q) Close enough! They're rioting in the streets and calling for our death!

(J) And I'll say that's not the whole picture, Q. Most Muslims I've met are sane, rational people, too.

(Q) But how can we trust Muslims when Islam calls for a Holy War against the West?

(J) Q, it doesn't.

(Q) Uh, that's not what I've heard, my friend...

(J) I'm not surprised. Misinformation about Islam has been circulating since the days of the Crusades, and it hasn't gotten much better.

(Q) Hey, I know what I'm talking about. I saw a special program on TV last night.

(J) Mmmm - hmmm. Then you'd know that, first of all, Islam does not call for a war against the West. When the Noble Qu'ran was written, the West wasn't really foremost in their minds. Everything that's been dragged out against the West is the result of modern, political wranglings of what the Qu'ran has to say.

(Q) Well hold up there, smarty-pants. I happen to know for a fact that the Qu'ran says that the faithful must kill infidels. That's Christians and Jews.

(J) No. The "Infidels" the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) spoke of were mostly the non-believers of the time: the pagan idolaters that controlled Mecca. The only things the Qu'ran says about Christians and Jews is that they are people of the Book, as they also believe in God, and that God has something special in mind for them.

(Q) Yeah, like paying extortion money to remain non-Muslim. What they call Zakat. Is that what God has in mind for people like me? A life as a second-class citizen?

(J) No. Zakat isn't extortion money. It's a poll tax to exempt you from military service...

(Q) I still say that's extortion.

(J) ...and it's a practice that isn't used that often anymore. Zakat's something that's largely gone by the wayside over time.

(Q) "Largely" or not, it's still mandated extortion. You can't explain that away.

(J) Well... let me put it another way: if you were a Muslim from Tangiers, and you immigrated to the United States and became a US citizen, you'd have to pay income tax. Is that extortion?

(Q) (Shows off the Libertarian bumper stickers on his car)

(J) Ah... well, that's another argument for another day. Suffice it to say that if you wish to live somewhere, then you must abide by the rules and laws that govern that place. Otherwise, you should not live there.

(Q) It's not moving I'm worried about. It's having them come over here and make me pay Zakat!

(J) That is never going to happen. Islam isn't supposed to be spread in that fashion.

(Q) Well it was!

(J) Yes, that's quite true. But that was then, and this is now. The days of empire-building are quite over for everyone.

(Q) Tell that to Afghanistan.

(J) Point taken. Now, maybe you'd care to explain how a rag-tag militia is going to take over America? Even if they paralyzed the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines they'd still have to deal with the NRA.

(Q) There you go making jokes again. This is serious!

(J) Seriously amusing. The numbers of Muslims who want us taken down are too small to mount a real offensive. Even if they teamed up - which is flat out inconceivable given their religious differences.

(Q) Come again...?

(J) Islam is a mosaic, not a monolith. Every country's version of how to interpret the Qu'ran is either a little or a lot different from one another. Same thing with the radical groups - maybe even moreso. And as I was saying, those groups are too small to do anything more than sick acts of terrorism. And look what they're getting in return. I think you can sleep easier, if that's what's worrying you.

(Q) But how am I supposed to feel secure when Muslims can call for a Holy War - a Jihad - against us?

(J) That's another piece of misinformation. Jihad does not mean "Holy War." It means "Striving."

(Q) That's just semantics. It's still war.

(J) Not really. According to the Holy Qu'ran, all warmaking is harram - "forbidden."

(Q) Uh... what?

(J) Striving is a noble fight, undertaken in accordance with Islamic principles. The greatest form of striving is the inner battle every man must fight to take himself away from vice and closer to God. In Islam, it is acceptable to make war only in certain instances. These are things like self-defense, defending the religion, and so on. Everything else is unIslamic, and unacceptable.

(Q) But if that's true, then why do Muslim countries go to war with one another?

(J) For the same reasons that ostensibly "Christian" nations go to war with one another. The only difference is how they present their actions. Any time that a nation uses its military, it has to do it in such a way so as to not appear overly-warlike to its neighbors, and the world at large. Otherwise, bad things will happen. You run the risk of losing allies and gaining enemies.

In the West, we invoke the rubric of "defending democracy" or "self-defense." In the Dar-al-Islam, they make it appear as though what they're doing is in step with Islamic principles. So Muslim nations wrap their actions in the words of the Holy Qu'ran when they march off to war. It's the same concept, just with a different name and a sacred reasoning.

(Q) Okay - look - you've talked up a nice storm about how the Qu'ran is so nice and the Prophet was such a swell guy... that still doesn't explain why there's a bunch of Muslims who've crashed jets into buildings.

(J) No, it doesn't, does it? But let me ask you this, Q - you're a Christian, right?

(Q) Absolutely!

(J) Does Christianity condone hatred, racism or violence?

(Q) Of course not.

(J) Then how do you explain Christian Identity? Those guys who think that God mandated the White Race to be the chosen people of God?

(Q) Well...

(J) And how about the Ku Klux Klan? They were Christians, too. They backed up a lot of what they did by spewing "god says this" and "God says that."

(Q) That's beside the point...

(J) No it isn't. And do you remember that, just before September 11th, the eyes of the world were all watching a little, Catholic school in Northern Ireland where the parents and kids were running a Protestant picket line every morning?

(Q) Um... yeah...

(J) The protesters were throwing rocks, using vulgar language and exploding fire bombs. And these were just little schoolkids trying to go to school. No real threat to anyone.

(Q) So you're trying to make Islam look good by making Christianity look bad?

(J) Not at all! What I am saying is that, just like with Christianity, Judaism, or what have you, there are people who will twist the words of the religion around, or misuse it for their own ends. Some of them might really believe that they're doing is right in the eyes of God, even if what they say and do is contrary to what most members of that religion would believe. And some of them are just power-mad goons using religion as a warped tool to justify their own schemes.

(Q) Well, if Bin Laden and people like that are so out to lunch, why are there so many Muslims protesting against what we're doing in Afghanistan?

(J) Because they're angry at the United States, and either don't understand or aren't aware of what's really going on. They see this fight as the West picking on the Moslem world, when in reality it's the West trying to punish the people responsible for what happened on September 11th.

(Q) Come on... there is no way they cannot understand that.

(J) Well... up until a few minutes ago, you thought all Muslims were out to declare a holy war on America. Right?

(Q) Well...

(J) So if that's you, with your newspapers and magazines and TV, then how do you expect a bunch of poor, lower-class Pakistanis to know the difference between retribution and military adventurism?

We know what we're told, Q. And unless we go out of our way to educate ourselves, we're always going to be at the mercy of "reality brokers" who simplify the issues to the point of absurdity, often in keeping with their own agenda.

We should know better, but we don't. We have our pundits on TV to tell us what "reality" is. They should know better, but they don't. They have their Imams at Friday prayers to do the same. And until we all make the concerted effort to learn more about one another's lives, and talk to one another, we're just going to stay on opposite sides of a huge fence of ignorance.

And ignorance kills.

At that point, John Q. shrugged and went back to raking leaves. And I sighed, feeling that the fence between our yards was still there in more ways that one.

But one could hope.

Still I gotta live my life here - with some pretty scary brethren - but now I'm a rebel on a mission baby - to live and die by my smile

Like a Soldier - Live